Empowered To Lose

From the times when women were generally considered as not human enough to the times when various organizations and stakeholders have worked hard at turning this syndrome around, I must say I appreciate all the hard work and input that has gone into making the various societies see women as human enough and as capable enough. 

I applaud the continuous drive to empower women, however, bits of the whole empowerment message makes me cringe. The drive has somewhat looked at making women think that they always have to be in competition with men in order to be recognized and appreciated (am referring to marital and love relationship situations here). The popular saying, what a man can do, a woman can do better is the worse empowerment line of all time, I think. What a man can do, a woman can do, but definitely not in the same way. Men and women were basically created differently so making women think they are in competition with men automatically makes them forget they are women, sisters, aunties and especially wives and mothers and makes them think they are the colleague at work trying so hard to get noticed in order to win a promotion. In this regard, what if a woman finds herself in a position which no man has ever occupied before?  Will she be allowed to be lazy because there was no man in that position before hence she will not know her competition level or must she be encouraged to work hard and make her competence known, in a no-competitive manner?  

Most men marry because they want a companion, a partner, a friend and most of all, a wife. For a wife to shed her basic responsibility of making a home in the name of chasing a career and winning promotions and big paychecks almost always lands them with facing a divorce or having to contend with another woman in the marriage. This problem can be traced to a woman failing as a wife.

A number of mothers are not nurturing their children at all. They do not even make time over the weekend to spend with their children. They are always on the run, chasing money and giving money to the children in a bid to pay for their usual absence. Such children grow up with maids and nannies and unfortunately, never get to feel what it is like to emotionally connect with another human being. They chase material things, thinking that will bring them happiness. Fundamentally, the one woman who was supposed to nurture them failed them, as a mother.

Essentially, and from creation, there are some responsibilities that are for women. It is a woman’s job to nurture babies, to create homes, to develop the domestic capabilities of their children. It is also a woman’s job to be a partner. All I am saying is, women should take a minute, pause and reflect on your personal empowerment drives. All your career advancements and school certificates, they will get lost once you fall down, dead. The nurturing you provide to your child, your adoptive child, your maid and the general ambiance you create at home and the wife you were to your husband will live on, for a very long time. Do not get to a pathetic point where you will have all the educational accolades, the money, yet you will always feel embarrassed to point out your children. Be careful not to wake up one day to an empty room. 

I am not against women working and wanting to achieve. No. I am against women who think shedding their basic responsibilities in the name of chasing a career and money is the way forward. Look ahead at the women who made such decisions. The working wives who never had time for lovemaking with their husbands, the working women whose children cannot sit and hold conversations with her because she is a visitor, a stranger to them and all those who chose to advance one aspect of their lives, in the name of empowerment, instead of creating balances and winning in many ways instead of one.

Your life is like a bicycle tire with all those segments representing one part of your life; religion, mother, wife, career woman, aunt, sister, friend, colleague. Let’s say the air in the whole tire has been segmented as well. Can the bicycle move if one part of the tire has more air then the rest?