Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Until Love Finds You. . . .

(This piece was inspired by an excerpt from Michelle McKinney Hammond)

Age is just a number so am not going to give any age limits here. But then let’s see, . .you are next to the only single person amongst your friends, you no longer get their companionship for a boys day out. You don’t get to shop with the girls anymore and even if you do, they buy diapers and baby food and wipes while you are left, primarily with an apple in your shopping basket!
You were tired of attending weddings already and the last one you attended killed your spirit. That preacher man, talking as if being single is a disease. Chuckles to him! Did he know that you have been single for the past seven years because Araba, the last girl you totally gave your heart to decided, one day, that it was over and did not even bother to give you the chance to make it right? Does he know that Kwame made an awful lot of promises to you, only for him to keep telling all and sundry that he is single and you are just a friend, yet always had you thinking you were a couple? Did he know the pain you have nursed and the journey it has been since you set up on this letting go path? And most intimately, does he know that you seriously love being single and only become aware of it when he joins other friends and family members to constantly rub it in your face because you are at the wedding of a brother sister cousin friend aunty colleague uncle classmate and he seems to want to have a brawl with you?

You are not desperate. No. you are okay. Of course you are willing to find love, and very hopeful that it will be soon but when other persons start haunting you and drawing the life they think you are missing because of a partner in front of you, desperation sets in. Maybe you are not yet healed from your immediate past relationship. Maybe you are in a single mood and you feel happy you pressed that button and are still sitting on it.

Human you are. You know you were created for love and there are sometimes you would wish to experience that love. Mind you, to be able to love someone romantically and to be able to hold such a relationship, you need to work on your other relationships. Yes, there are so many relationships around you. You know God right? Yes, when was the last time you prayed guiltlessly to Him? See again? Okay, yes, you need to rectify that relationship. Make it more solid. You know He is waiting for you. Go to Him in prayer and be sanctified!

You know you have accepted your status, ok maybe not so fully. How about you work on yourself, take care of you and love you. Work some magic into yourself so that the next time someone either directly or indirectly passes a stray comment on singleness, you will be well armored to let it go by without it passing through you.

There is one other relationship which needs your attention. This is how you will treat your love and the baggage of a family they will come with. You will treat your in laws as well or as bad as you treat your siblings. You will treat his or her friends same as well. Oh come on read this bit before you start an argument. See, no matter how well a partner treats your family in the initial stages, how they have always treated their own family and friends will definitely surface.

Love is a beautiful thing and it is okay that you are hopeful on love. Yet until it comes, do work with what you have, make them great and see if you will be on any waiting list soon.

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